Do you have a sense of humor … is a great joke.
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WOW… great joke!
Who says bloger don’t have a sense of humor?
Listen to my joke humor and fun …
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?”
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restroom, but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, ‘I’m doing just fine.”
And the other guy says: “So, what are you up to?”
What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say: “Uhhh, I’m just traveling for work.”
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, “No…..I’m a little busy right now!”
Then I hear the guy say nervously…
“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. Some guy is in the other stall answering all my questions.”
***
He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: I would rather have the money.
He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I am having a headache this weekend.
He: Go on. Don’t be shy, ask me out.
She: Okay. Go out.
He: I think I could make you very happy?
She: Why? Are you leaving?
***
Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off.
Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane.
Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane really is in good hands.
Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, “You know, Jim one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”
***
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
***
Some people’s x-rays are better than their photos.
***
“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.” “That’s very fair, your honor.” the husband said “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself!”
***
***
An engineer of Ford cars runs into the office of his boss:
– Eureka, I have finally made it! I have been working in electric vehicle project for so many years and now I came from New York with the electric vehicle!
– How much did it cost?
– 4000 $ – 1 $ for electricity and 3999$ for the cables..
***
It is quite easy to start an Opel car, but it takes time.
***
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, we wouldn’t be here at all!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn’t on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any “we” in the first place.”
***
A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I?m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”
***
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
***
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.”
Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, doc?”
The doctor replied, “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.’, you hit her with the shovel.”
***
On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.
“This is great,” he thought as he roared down the Florida highway. He decided to see how fast this baby could really go pushing the pedal to the metal. He looked in his rear view mirror and saw a State Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
“I can get away from him with no problem” Jeff thought as he flew down the road at over 150 mph.
But then it suddenly hit him. “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing.”
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the car.
“Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
Jeff looked at the Trooper and said, “Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper…I thought you were bringing her back”
“Have a great day,” said the Trooper.
***
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”
***
